Sometimes, life stinks.

So, a couple friends of mine and I went for a walk last night with "the girls." The two Viscla/Weimerainer pups belonging to Jerod and his parents. We're walking along the dirt dike surrounded by fields at sunset time. It was SO beautiful! It's the best time of day no matter what season here in North Dakota because it lasts SO long and the colors of the sky will often times change the full spectrum of the rainbow and really does take about an hour at least and the sky continues to change and move and swirl colors for up to an hour after the earth has swallowed the sun and EVERYthing around changes colors along with the sky. All the grasses transform into kelly branches to golden stems to emerald stalks and then eventually into forests of hunter and jungle greens. Pretty incredible.

Well, the clouds decided to go the WrOnG way last night and we didn't get to enjoy much of the sun's going down in quite the way the three of us had anticipated. But! The walk along the dike and through the grasses was quite lovely, even in the drizzle coming down. We just chatted and walked and the girls ran freely through the fields and came back to check on us periodically. We chewed on grains we picked, hid in the sunflowers and checked on how the soy beans were doing all the while comparing in contest the dirt clods gathering on our shoes.

We made quite a circle and as we were about 100 yards from the truck to head back for an evening of leisure, the girls found something. They are hunting dogs that love the country and explore every carcass and smell they find, no matter how disgusting. We saw Abbee, Jerod's dog of course, not the parents', start running after something. Teka came back but Abbee insisted on going on ahead with her instincts instead of listening to the heated call of her owner. Suddenly, she bolted up and over the hill toward us where she immediately hit her back and started thrashing violently. And with that, the smell hit us! AH! She found a skunk, very alive, very well, and very potent. The girls have found where a skunk has sprayed before and rolled around in it, and become quite stinky, but this topped all of those times. Exponentially. So, Jerod being Jerod, try to calm down his little girl and Teka, being her sister, got all kinds of too close.

The walk ended with Jessica driving home the truck, her all of about 5'4" frame behind the wheel of a four door Chevy Silverado with spunky, curly haired me sitting next to her laughing and singing all the way home with a 6'3" man in the back of the truck, holding onto two skunked dogs in the rain.

My Birthday

It's in a week and a half and I have a list of things I want. Yes. Last year, the main things I super duper wanted was to hang out with everyone I love (which was fulfilled quite well by all those in town) and to get a magic bullet (which was fulfilled through a gift card from Kenneth).

I also got a ton of presents and a HUGE tie dyed themed atmosphere. The celebration day began with church, followed by a lunch with a fairly large group and my, and a few others', meal paid for followed by a change of clothes and a few rounds of ultimate frisbee and a game of soccer followed by about a 10 minute break followed by a motorcycle ride out to the Fargo airfield. At the airfield, two friends and I were taken up by another friend for a flight out to Detroit Lakes, MN (I'm pretty sure... :). This was followed by yet another motorcycle ride back to my place where 30 people or so were gathered to wish me happy birthday and eat tie dye cheesecake, cupcakes, nutella gelato and hot fudge pudding cake! :D It was wonderful!

Now, this year, I may just have started a new job (Lord willing) and had plans to go to the cities and go to Chicago from there with my friend, Kenneth, but that turns out to not be so as I will most likely be starting a job and he'll have just started an unexpected teaching job as well. C'est la vie, right? Right.

So, I have made a list of things I want for my birthday. Aside from just playing a game or something with some close friends, what I want for my birthday is as follows:

1. A frisbee golf disc (a driver, prefferably because the long shots are definitely my downfall)

2. A bag of plaster of paris so that I can make more stuff and get my art on

3. a $15 iTunes gift card so I can buy music for myself and work towards another friend's birthday gift as well

4. A Venus razor with refill cartidges because I don't know where mine went

I think there's something else on my list, but I cannot for the life of me remember what it is, so I guess that settles it. :)

5. Maybe some more canvases, or a gift card to a craft store (a gift card to Home Depot would also cover the plaster of paris and more wood and nails for projcts and frames, but isn't necessary)

Nothing exciting in this entry, nothing to be gained, just thoughts. Yep! :D

the closer we are to the Light, the easier it is to see all the dirty littly corners

honestly, so much of what we do is self centered and we dont even realize it, ya know? just stupid little things, and slowly, God reveals these things to us so that we can change and become more and more like Him, but the closer we grow to God, its like, the more sin is noticable in every area of our lives

the closer we are to the light, the more exposed we are.
and this is good! its not a bad thing to see things that are sin. its good because that means that:1. even all of that, ALL of that, God has forgiven. man we are sinful people, and God has already paid the price for all of it!Hebrews 7:(whole chapter, mainly 11-end, specifically verse 25) 25 Therefore he is able, once and forever, to save everyone who comes to God through him. He lives forever to plead with God on their behalf. (NLT)-note, ESV is good on this specific verse, but to have the context laid out in an easily understood manner, NLT works wonders
and
2. it shows us areas that we can work on, with the help of Christ, to grow even closer to God and to the person He wants us to be 1 John 4:4b ...because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.Philippians 1:6 And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again.
this by no means means that we can grovel in our wretchedness and depravity of our sinful nature or wallow in self pity or slough through and indulge in our sinfulness, by no means! but! this does mean that we can all the better see the glory and wonder and perfection of God becaues He is withOUT sin. because there is no darkness in Him (1 John 1:5) we can have joy and peace and grow closer to understand and to the knowledge of who God really is that although He is, was, and forever will be without sin, He still gave Himself up to reconcile us to Himself! THAT is who God IS!
the knowledge of our sin is not just there to show us that we are sinful, but that God is without sin and therefore, He IS greater! So much greater and so much more worthy of our love and affection and dedication and time and everything else.
instead, in the knowledge of our sin, we can bask in the glory of who He is and we can see the grace and redemption and love and joy and peace He gives us all the more clearly. And if that doesnt create in us a desire to share Him and His words, then dude, what should man? certainly not a sense of obligation. certainly it should come from the realness of God is us and the realization all the more of what He has done, is doing, and will continue until the day of Christ Jesus.
yes. the end.

I'm so glad life's not up to me

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Philippians 4:6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

James 1:5 If you need wisdom – if you want to know what God wants you to do – ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

James 4:13 Look here, you people who say, "Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit." 14 How do you know what will happen tomorrow? For your life is like the morning fog – it's here a little while, then it's gone. 15 What you ought to say is, "If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that." 16 Otherwise you will be boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil. 17 Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.

Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.

Oh to have this said of me!

"They say there is a young lady in [New Haven] who is loved of that Great Being, who made and rules this world, and that there are certain seasons in which this Great Being, in some way or other invisible, comes to her and fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight; and that she hardly cares for anything except to meditate on Him.... [Y]ou could not persuade her to do any thing wrong or sinful, if you would give her all the world, lest she should offend this Great Being. She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness, and universal benevolence of mind; especially after this Great God has manifested himself to her mind. She will sometimes go about from place to place, singing sweetly; and seems to be always full of joy and pleasure.... She loves to be alone, walking in the fields and groves, and seems to have some one invisible always conversing with her."
-Jonathan Edwards, a doodle in the midst of his seminary notes. :)